Hello, Mr. President Biden, and welcome to Israel!
Hope you slept well on the plane, because a busy, more intense program awaits you than you thought.
Your official hosts are busy - temporary in the election, replaced in planning a retiring rehearsal that has not yet begun - so I allowed myself to build an alternative plan for you.
Do not regret, you have not lost anything, so you will truly know the country you have come to and the conflict that has been going on over it for 140 years.
We will begin our visit to the Land of Israel in the heart of the country, on the Temple Mount in Jerusalem, a place where the Temple was located 3,000 years ago, and from which the Judeo-Christian civilization was born - your civilization, Mr. President.
But we can not do that, because the place is blocked in front of us.
why?
Because you and I, Mr. President, are not Muslims.
What is this nonsense, you ask?
This is the reality: the mountain is always open only to Muslims, they actually own it, and others are only allowed to enter for limited hours, and that too in a hurry - only if the "young people" do not riot that day.
Who are the "young people"?
This, Mr. President, is a code name invented by the Israeli media to describe a mass of agitated Arabs who try to kill Jews, so as not to remind media consumers who in this country is killing and who is being killed.
And maybe it's for the better, because it's hot today, and on a visit to the Temple Mount the Waqf guards would harass you if you drank or ate, not to mention a situation where you would mumble something to yourself, God forbid!
All of these actions will make you suspect as someone who carries a blessing or prayer, and this is only allowed to Muslims.
What is this nonsense, you ask?
Yes, Mr. President, you or I are allowed to pray or mumble as we please anywhere on earth, other than this place, which has been robbed from us, and in fact from all of humanity.
Do you call it discrimination and violation of the fundamental values of liberty and democracy?
You are absolutely right.
Not bad, Mr. President, we will drive instead to Mount Scopus, a place from which Jewish pilgrims would first see their holy city, and then visit the City of David, the truly ancient city of Jerusalem, where the capital of the Jews and the Kingdom of Judah flourished.
what?
Why have you not been told about these places before?
You see, Mr. President, they do not get along with the false narrative of "the homeland stolen from the Arabs by Jewish colonialism," and therefore do not tell about them.
Where were the Arabs then, you ask?
In the peninsula that bears their name, and to which you will travel after visiting us.
The Arab conquest came only more than 1,500 years later, and even after that, everyone, including the Arabs, recognized that this was the land of the Jews.
Do not panic, Mr. President, this is just a stone that hit the windshield.
You already know the "young" question.
Throwing stones at Jewish vehicles causes them great pleasure.
Why don't the cops chase after them and restore order?
They are not ordered to do so, and if they show a little too much determination towards the rioters, they will be swallowed up by the police investigation department.
What is this nonsense, you ask?
This is the reality: in the eyes of the current leadership, graffiti against Arabs is a hate crime and a serious act of terrorism, but throwing stones at Jews is nothing more than a prank.
Say thank you, Mr. President, that I have not yet had time to take you to Judea and Samaria, where the "young people" can also shoot our car.
Why are Abu Mazen's police not preventing them from doing so?
Its people in uniform like to shoot Jews no less than those without uniforms.
Has Abu Mazen promised you that he will fight terrorism if you just renew his budget for billions?
Understandably, he owes the money to pay his people who shoot Jews, print inciting textbooks and fill his sons' bank accounts in Switzerland.
Are you asleep, Mr. President?
Is reality tired of you?
Maybe it's better to sleep.
Were we wrong?
Fixed!
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